Barefoot and Pregnant? I Don’t Think So…

I’m often surprised that the first thing many people think about when the subject of women’s roles comes up in a religion-based conversation is the misconception that according to the Bible, women should be home serving their man and tending to their brood. That couldn’t be farther from the truth.

God created men and women equally. Each were created in God’s image (Gen. 1:27), each holds equal importance in His eyes, and each is heir to the kingdom of God in equal portions. Men are not superior, neither are women. What is true, however, is that men and women were created differently. In Genesis 2:21, we are told that God created woman from man, not from the dust of the ground as was man. The significance of this as I see it is that Adam and Eve were literally of one flesh, which is symbolic for how a husband and a wife are to be today through the holy bond of marriage.

Men and women tend to hold different roles in most marriages, which I think is part of God’s plan. A husband and wife are to complement each other. If each did the same exact things, then what would the reason be for having a mate? Each man and woman, however, is a unique individual created by God, and therefore I do have a problem lumping them all into one functional category, such as “all women should stay home and raise babies” and “all men should go out and earn the bread.” I think women are usually more gifted in the natural ability to nurturer, and men are usually more aggressive in their careers. When this typical combination occurs, it seems logical that it is best for the family if the woman is able to stay home and raise the children rather than work outside the home during those years.

I will not say, however, that this is true for all women. I know several women who have no desire to be stay-at-home-moms, and though I do not understand their choice, who am I to say that they are wrong? Some women function as the main breadwinners in the family and their husbands are stay-at-home-dads. While this is more the exception to the unwritten rule, if it is what works best for the family, and they are content with that decision made in prayer, then that is their call. It makes the woman no less of a good mother and the man no less of a real man.

Personally, I believe the Proverbs 31 woman is an excellent reference on this subject. She did it all and had it all, it seems. None of us will ever be her, and I can’t say I believe that she actually existed, but rather that she is a composite of many women. Still, she has awesome lessons to teach us. She shops, she cooks and sews her family’s clothes. She practices hospitality and is financially responsible and manages the household well. Not only does she carry out these typical housewifely duties, but she also runs her own business successfully. So, here we have a picture of what might be the first work-at-home-mom! While this passage gives me the feeling that she put her family first, it is evident that her business was also important not only to her but also to her family’s well-being. This is evidence to me that women can have both family and career, but they must also be responsible in how they choose to balance their priorities.

How about the “s” word? Submission. Yes, I said it. To many it seems like a dirty word, implying a woman’s substation in life to her husband, giving him license to treat her as a doormat. Again, this is drastic misconception.

According to the NIV Life Application Bible, the word “submission” means to “cooperate voluntarily with someone else out of love and respect for God and for that person.” So, the Bible instructs women to submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22, 1Peter 3:1), thus they are to cooperate with them, to love and respect them. What is so bad about that? Is that any more than what we agree to do when we take our marriage vows? I don’t think so. In fact, according to Ephesians 5:21, Paul admonishes all believers to “submit to one another out of reverence to Christ,” thus making submission in a Christian marriage a mutual obligation, not just one-sided. Loving, honoring and respecting each other in a marriage is what is going to make it work.

While naysayers get hung up on the “s” word as it applies to women, they often also overlook the fact that men have not been left off the hook. In fact, they are called to do even more. In Ephesians 5:25, husbands are instructed to “love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” and in verse 28 it is written that they are to “love their wives as their own bodies.” So, how much did Christ love the church? Enough to die for it. Enough to take on every sin ever committed and take the wrath for them so that we can be sanctified in the eyes of God. That is a big calling for husbands. And it might be argued that men do care a great deal for their own bodies, ready to fight and protect it when need be. That they should love their wives as much is no small order.

Better Seen than Heard?

There is the equally touchy subject of women’s roles in the church. The Bible does indeed have much to say about the subject, but this too is subject to misinterpretion. From the commentaries I’ve read and the sermons I’ve heard preached on this topic as it is discussed in the Bible, it is widely emphasized that the cultural climate of the day must be taken into consideration when trying to understand it. For example, in the days that Paul was writing his letters to the Corinthians, it was the cultural norm for Jewish women to cover their heads in worship. Greek women, however, apparently did not follow the same head-covering statute, and so as they worshipped together with Jewish believers, strife developed over this issue…which was right and wrong? Paul’s decree was for women to cover their heads, not necessarily because it was the right thing, but because it met with the cultural mores of the day and place. He was no doubt interested in putting a stop to the petty quarreling over the issue so that the worshippers once again focus more fully on worshipping!

Likewise, when Timothy was ministering in Ephesus, Paul wrote to him and gave further admonitions regarding how women should conduct themselves in church. In 1Timothy 2:9-10, he states that women should dress “modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” Now, do you think Paul was trying to be a fashion-basher? Moreover, do you think God is concerned with how a woman is dressed while she is worshipping? I don’t. What is on the outside is not so important to God, but what is on the inside. So why did Paul write these words? Again, the answer must be found in the cultural climate of the day.

Apparently in this particular culture, there were some women who thought church was all about looking nice and impressing people…particularly the men. Paul was discouraging this practice because it was disruptive to worship and took the focus off God. He also wanted to get the message through that true worship doesn’t hinge on the outward appearance, but by the inward condition of the individual.

In 1 Timothy, Paul exhorts that women should learn in church “in quietness and full submission” and that women should not teach or have authority over men. Obviously today there are a lot of female pastors, elders and deacons who have gone against this mandate, if indeed we are to take it at face value. But again, let us examine the cultural environment of first century Ephesus.

Prior to this time, Jewish women were not allowed to study at all. Thus, when Paul said that women should learn, it was "should" that is key in this passage—-what they should do, not how they should be dressed to do it. This was a new opportunity for women and Paul was saying they should take it! Since they previously had not been able to study, the best way for them to do so was in a quiet and cooperative spirit, no different than how any of us should study something new.

As for not teaching and having authority over men, we have to understand that as new believers, these women did not have adequate knowledge or understanding to teach anyone. This warning, however, holds true for new male believers as well as female, as in 1 Timothy 5:22 Paul states that the “laying on of hands” should not be done hastily. In other words, do not choose your leaders without adequate consideration. New believers, whether male or female, run many risks if put in positions of power too soon. They may become overwhelmed, they might unwittingly succumb to false teachings (as seemed to be the case in Ephesus) or their new position may breed conceit, thus hindering their own spiritual growth as well as their witness.

Do these passages preclude women in general from having leadership roles in the church? No, I do not think they do. Going from the examples in the Bible, there are many instances where God used women in positions of leadership. Deborah is a prime Old Testament example. In the New Testament, Romans 16:1 mentions Phoebe as “a servant of the church,” and according to the NIV Bible, the Greek word for servant here is often translated as “deaconess.” Whatever her role, she was apparently an active servant in the early church. Priscilla, along with her husband Aquilla, was a missionary who God used in Corinth. Several other women are mentioned by name in this Romans passage, and though it may be that they did not hold an official leadership role in the church, I feel it is unlikely that they were just everyday churchgoers. I think God was obviously using them in special ways for Paul to take the time to name them.

There are some denominations that do not believe women have a place in leadership in the church today. I respect their decision in this regard, as I believe it to be made after generations of prayerful consideration, but I personally do not agree with it. I have a very hard time believing that the God of the universe, who created men and women equally and in His image, would preclude women the chance to serve him and minister to others in an official capacity solely based on their gender. It does not make sense to me. I have had the honor of knowing several Godly women who have held positions in the church, either as pastor, elder, deacon, adult Sunday School teacher, Bible study leader or any other number of roles. One of these women is my oldest and dearest friend, and I cannot think of many people—male or female--who possess as wholly as she does the criteria for a church leader (as outlined in 1 Timothy 3:1-7). I fully believe that it is these criteria that should be considered above all else when choosing a leader for the church, not their gender.

Let me close by reiterating what I started with. These are my views, based on my experience and my knowledge and study, as limited as that may be in comparison to some. This topic is a very important one and I think it warrants close, personal examination by every believer, as do all issues. Touchy as it is, this is just one subject that Christians need to weight against the truth of the scriptures, and be in prayer about, so that they can make the right decisions for their lives and be at peace that they are serving and obeying God in the best way that they can.