Chapter 7:
Isaiah
28: 12 To whom
he said, This is the rest wherewith ye may cause the weary to rest; and this is
the refreshing: yet they would not hear. 13 But the word of the LORD was unto
them precept upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line;
here a little, and there a little; that they might go, and fall backward, and be
broken, and snared, and taken.
CHAPTER 7: Levels of Truth
As
a young person in God’s Church, how often have you wondered if your parents
and ministers really knew what they were talking about? Given the gross confusion and competition of the ministry to
collect and defend turf and tithe paying members, if you do not have doubts, you
would probably not be normal. Do
you ever wonder what is the real biblical truth concerning any topic?
What is the real truth, from the Bible, not the imaginations of men,
concerning dating, betrothal,
and eventually marriage? Should you
totally break the spiritual umbilical chord with your parents when you actually
marry? This is a common theme of
society and many within God’s Church. Have
they ever showed you the case, the whole counsel of God on this topic?
I doubt it. Dating,
betrothal, and marriage are big topics in the
Bible. A lot is said throughout the
Bible, and I seriously doubt if anyone has shown you the entire picture.
Young people need to know the truth.
They especially need to know the WHOLE
TRUTH, not just part of the truth concerning this topic.
This
study has been laying the ground work and will continue to clarify the truth
concerning dating, and betrothal.
We have to consistently remember that First
Things, Have to Come First. Marriage
is the final phase of a lengthy process that precedes it.
A false shepherd or someone devoid of biblical knowledge will tend to
confuse the issues by trying to limit the scope of the study to just marriage.
Marriage is important, but they invariably try to focus on special
scriptures, and take them out of the context of the entire Bible to present a
distorted picture of how marriage ought to work.
In this chapter I hope to show how this is done and what you should watch
out for. A Cardinal
Rule for Bible Study is to never take any scripture or group of
scriptures out of the context of the entire Bible.
On almost any subject there is a lot said and it is here a little, there
a little.
When
it comes to dating, betrothal,
and eventually marriage, do you wish to fall backward, and be broken, and
snared, and taken by Satan’s deceptions?
I would hope not. The trick
is to find all of the scriptures relating to any topic. That is why I have taken the approach of implanting the
importance of God’s Way, His entire
way in your mind.
If you really want to please God, there is only one way to do it, follow
his laws. You must understand what
it is he really wants you to do and then do it.
In
Chapter 2, I showed the example of Zelophehad’s daughters
and how opportunists will try to
distort an account and apply it to prove some perverted point they wish to try to establish on biblical grounds.
This example is only the “tip of
the iceberg”
so to speak concerning deceptive ideas about dating
and betrothal.
Having said this, let’s move on and examine the levels of truth and how
they apply to the topic of the study.
What
is the Truth
On
just about any topic, biblical or secular, there are three primary levels of
truth. In a court of law there is a
phrase “the truth, the whole truth, and
nothing but the truth.” Once
we understand God’s purpose, we will
understand that he really wants us to approach any subject from the perspective
of “nothing but the truth.”
Matt: 4:4
Man (and Woman) shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds
out of the mouth of God.
God’s
teachings are intended to produce his very nature in our lives.
He wants all of us to consider carefully the results of actions we might
take. Since dating
and betrothal are such important steps, God
wants young people to carefully consider their approach and all the consequences
that might arise from their decisions. Rebelling
against parental authority and guidance is something that can reap enormous
negative consequences. If we really
seek to discover the depth of God’s
truth it will cause us to change for the better.
Young people, if you will yield your will to the truth of God, you will
be purified. When you allow God’s
truth to have an effect upon your mind you will change. And when this happens, Mark
This Well! YOU WILL BE SANCTIFIED.
John 17:17
Sanctify them by Your truth.
Your word is truth.
Is
the picture starting to emerge? When
you are sanctified, you are set
apart. You become different and are
set apart, distinguished from those in the world, or even those tares
within the Churches of God still practicing worldly customs.
This sanctification comes
about as you submit to God’s Truth.
Can you see why it is important to learn God’s
Will concerning family government
and what he wants you to do as you approach dating
and betrothal?
The approach you take to dating and betrothal,
ultimately determines whether God will sanctify
your attempt at marriage. When it
comes to whether you will have a happy family
or divorce, all young people definitely control their destiny.
Decisions, good or bad, in harmony with God’s laws or not in harmony,
will have consequences.
The
Enduring Word
1
Peter 1:22-23 (NKJV)
Since you have purified your souls in obeying
the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one
another fervently with a pure heart, 23having been born again, not of
corruptible seed but incorruptible, through the word of God which lives and
abides forever
Peter
confirms the point in John 17:17 that when you yield your will to the truth of
God, that you will be purified.
You will be sanctified. If you
yield your wills to the truth of God and his family
government model, your future betrothal and
marriage will be sanctified in the
eyes of God. I will finish this
subhead by again recommending the traditional Church of God teaching, which is
well documented in the February, 1986 GOOD NEWS magazine. Mr. George M. Kackos does a magnificent job explaining how
the family is to function under God’s
purpose for the family and the governmental
structure within the family that God desires. Young people, all you have to do is catch the vision Mr.
Kackos portrays in this article (You
Can Have a Happy Family) and you are well on your way to being able to
accept God’s truth concerning dating and betrothal.
Examples
of Levels of Truth
At
this point I wish to show by example how truth can be manipulated by a deceiver
if all of the truth is not know and consequences of certain actions known.
Example
#1
The
Truth is that
American culture, movies, television, books, and magazines plant the idea in
young people’s minds that premarital and extramarital sex is exciting and
feels good. This culture also
emphasizes self-determination and independence from parents. It emphasizes getting what you want, and getting it now, so
that you will enjoy your life.
Yes,
this is The Truth, but not The
Whole Truth. What this media
blitz leaves out is the divorce statistics, orphaned children, abortion
statistics, and pictures of rehabilitation centers with scores of young people
with their minds burned out from drugs. It
leaves out the statistics of rape and murder of young women around the county.
It does not fully explain the complications of an unwanted pregnancy and
sexual diseases.
Nothing
But the Truth
will emphasize the penalties of sin. This
version of the truth will show how you can become addicted to illicit sex and
ruin any chance you may have of ever having a happy marriage and family
of your own. This version of the
truth will emphasize the importance of involving your parents in your personal
life all of the time and not entering a reprobate relationship that isolates you
from your family. This version of the truth will show how it is important for
future generations to develop a large, extended
family and have them involved in the lives of future generations.
Example
#2
If
we apply the truth to the “buy now and pay later” approach we can learn some
important lessons. The key is to
evaluate the ideas and examine possible consequences.
The
Truth: A person
can have his cake and eat it too. He
can immediately buy on credit what he wants and enjoy it right now.
The
Whole Truth:
You will have to pay for the privilege of buying what you want over a long
period of time at high interest rates.
Nothing
But the Truth:
Making an expensive purchase on credit will cause the item to actually cost much
more than it is worth. It will
reduce money available to raise your family
and have available for food. You
could also develop a bad habit of spending more than you actually have.
This habit could lead to financial troubles later on.
Example
#3
Refinance
and pay off all the credit card bills. This
logic feeds on the presumption that one will never be able to pay off his house
mortgage.
Proverbs
22:7 The rich
rules over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.
The
Truth: Yes, you
can pay off all your credit card bills this way.
The
Whole Truth:
People learn lessons slowly. Rarely
will they learn anything from this ploy. They
will develop the illusion of being debt free and just go out and load up that
credit card bill once more. They
will almost always end up deep in debt again.
Nothing
But the Truth:
By loading your homes with debt you will develop a false sense of security and
feel free to spend again. You
actually jeopardize your solvency. Most
people forget their home is depreciating due to natural wear and tear.
A home needs to be paid off before old age reduces your earning power.
We will now switch to specific examples of how erroneous
truth can effect your future marriage.
God’s laws regarding levels of truth exist here too, just as in
financial matters. The first
example of erroneous truth and how elusive the real truth is concerns dating
relationships. Most of the time,
this problem arises because of competition for control over someone’s life.
In the case of young people, the Bible is quite clear, parents have
authority over their offspring and always deserve their respect.
Nowhere is there a case in the Bible for an age limit where this no
longer applies. It is only in the
minds of spiritually inspired psychologists that such nonsensical
thinking exists.
The example I am thinking of involves ultimatums.
Sooner or later if you are in a dating
arrangement your parents do not approve of, you will face ultimatums.
But there is another ultimatum young people get.
It is from the person they are dating.
Sooner or later the person you are dating
will insist you choose between him and your family.
After all, he/she may have put a year into dating
you and his/her time is valuable. Time
is money and money is time you know. Yes,
this is a common thing when parents do not approve whom you are dating.
Usually it involves a male figure older than the female.
The ultimatum will force the dating
partner to make some hard choices. The
older man, or spoiled younger man, will usually demand that you either choose to
cater to his desires or he will dump you.
Example #4
It
is me or your stupid family, take your choice.
The
Truth: Yes, if
you are of legal age by civil codes you may thumb your nose at your parents.
Choosing him will have immediate benefits and confirm your unabashed love
and devotion for this individual. Both
him and close friends will say, those parents of yours will just have to get
used to it. We have the right to choose who we marry and when.
The Whole Truth: Yes, you may do your own thing, but you will break the spiritual umbilical cord between you and your parents who have fed and clothed you all of their lives. You will break the bond you have had with your family and may not be able to repair the breach. You will probably be cut off financially unless you whine to your parents that you need to finish school. Parents will do almost anything to keep their children in school because they understand the need for education. But you can just move in with that boy/girl and do whatever your little heart desires. After all, it is your body and your life.
Nothing
But the Truth:
You may not be able to come home any more.
Further, you will loose your spiritual inheritance with your family, and
more important not be able to develop a proper relationship with Christ.
Your decadent mindset will adversely affect all your other decisions
eventually, and go from bad to worse as you develop a root of bitterness.
If you have the misfortune of having come from a very close family,
when you severe the spiritual umbilical cord with your parents and family,
you will eventually come to hate the very individual who forced you to make the
decisions to severe that special bond. Another
benefit of this type action could be and should be, to be cut off financially so
you can learn what it is like to make a living in the real world without
parental interference or protection.
If things get tough enough, you may have to join the army because of lack
of job opportunities during a recession. At
worse, if you are a woman, you might have to subject yourself eventually to
virtual slavery under a pimp in order to survive if you have had the foresight
to not prepare yourself for the job
market. Finally, since you have
showed this individual who loves you that you are devoted to him totally, next
year when problems arise he will simply threaten to divorce
you, to put you in line. Excuse me,
he would not be able to make the threat of divorce stick, that
is an untruth. If you treat
your parents with enough disrespect they will not sanctify your dating and upcoming
marriage. Neither will God.
You will only be living in a state of fornication
and all the man of your dreams will have to do is just move out and leave you
pregnant and alone. Then you can
learn to raise a child alone so it can grow up with all the benefits of no family
or grandparents. If you are lucky,
you may just be able to sell this baby on the black market to raise cash if it
doesn’t have a birth defect. Life
is just full of tough choices. And,
do not forget that living in a persistent and unrepented of, state of fornication
will keep you out of the Kingdom of God. This
of course will save a lot of money for offerings, hymnals and Bibles that will
then be available for cigarettes, dope, and booze.
1
Corinthians 6:9
Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit
the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators,
nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites,
A Deceived World
This
generation of people live in a society totally perverted. They do not
know the ways of God or recognize how to apply
His laws. The Bible puts the blame on the ministers.
Jeremiah 10 is an especially revealing chapter concerning false
shepherds. Jeremiah, Chapter 23,
talks more about false prophets and what they have done.
Today we see a remarkable number of ministers in the Churches of God
promoting the idea that parents should not micromanage their children as they
get older. We see a society that
views normal parents as those who live a long way off.
But, strange as it may seem, God pictures a
family, a large extended family living in the unity of spirit and peace.
The following scripture talks about how ministers have perverted the intent of God toward all doctrines, including family
relationships.
Jeremiah
23:36 ". .
. ye have PERVERTED the words of the living God. . ."
This generation has a hunger for perversion. What was perversion
just a few years ago is now normal. Perversion
has found an eager audience among young people; from our churches - to even the
word of God! The intent and rules
governing family relationships is steeped in perversion
regarding godly standards.
Webster’s
dictionary defines "pervert"
as 1. to cause to turn aside or away from what is good or true... 2. to twist
the meaning or sense of: misinterpret (Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary,
1977, p.856).
The
next series of examples regarding truth will focus on a perversion
of scriptures pertaining to marriage itself.
Earlier I said that one of the dodges
deceived people will use regards marriage and God’s intentions for this union,
this joining of two people, to form
one unit. With the background
concerning perversion shown above in
our minds, let’s move on to these examples.
Truly the world we live in is a world of deception.
Satan has succeeded in deceiving people
for thousands of years.
When
people attempt to argue a point to their particular agenda they usually seek to
isolate scripture from the entire Bible. As
it regards marriage, they usually run to self-professed biblical experts. These experts usually take the form of various forms of Bible
dictionaries or Bible Commentaries. There
is a flaw with this reasoning. Most
of these books are written by authors who are steeped in worldly religious
customs and western economic philosophy. Isn’t it strange how Church of God members will run to the
worldly experts to create
the exception (justify their desires)?
If you can’t find a source to support your claims, keep
looking, you will find one.
Another
ploy is to focus on one
word and try to define its meaning and a whole doctrinal stance based
upon this isolation. What a “fools errand”
this is. We are supposed to come
out of Spiritual Babylon, not run full speed into it.
Another description of this technique is modernization of religion so it is pertinent and applies to
today’s culture. This is what lawyers do in courts of law. They try to redefine words and circumstances to support their
version of truth. I actually had a
very incompetent lawyer try to prove a point in court by taking one sentence,
yes just one sentence, out of a letter comprising five paragraphs and attempt to
make a point with it. The problem
was the judge was no fool and neither was I.
You do not take one sentence out of the context of a letter and try to
determine what that letter or book meant. You
do not take
one word out of the Bible, isolate it, and try to make a doctrinal
case for anything. If you do, you
are tempting God. People who do
this are just Practical Atheists (A
lot more on this in later chapters).
Marriage
is simply a Divine Institution that
is designed to help manage a family and
produce godly offspring. In the Divine
Scheme of Things, family always comes
first. This is an awesome truth and
affects how you approach your total relationship with Christ.
Marriage is simply a covenant, an agreement. The Bride of Christ and Marriage Supper of the Lamb are
metaphors used to help convey special meaning to Christ’s true disciples.
Once you are resurrected and immortal, you will be Jesus Christ’s
brothers/sisters. God the Father
will always be the Father.
Example
#5
The
Bible plainly states that there is an age where a young person becomes an adult,
is no longer considered an adolescent.
COMMENT:
I actually had
someone try to prove this with the following scripture.
John
9:21 But by
what means he now seeth, we know not; or who hath opened his eyes, we know not: He
is of age; ask him: he shall speak for himself.
John
9:23 Therefore
said his parents, He is of age; ask
him.
The
Truth: In
verses 21 and 23, the healed man’s parents said the young man was of age.
The
Whole Truth: Whatever
the parents meant, they did not imply a specific age.
They also said what they did “because
they feared Jews.” To see
this read verse 22.
John
9:22 These
words spake his parents, because they
feared the Jews: for the Jews had agreed already, that if any man did
confess that he was Christ, he should be
put out of the synagogue.
Nothing
But the Truth:
The whole incident in John, Chapter 9, revolved around an incident where Jesus
healed a man on the Sabbath. The
importance of this healing was immediately recognized (see John 9:16-17) since
no record of a blind man being healed was known of previously.
The parents sought to “pass the buck”
so to speak like Adam and Eve when they sinned.
If you persist in approaching scripture like this you will be exposed as
not having much spiritual understanding. It
will affect how you approach all doctrinal positions in the Bible and you will
emerge with a perverted understanding
of God’s Ways.
Example
#6
The
Bible says that once you say yes or agree to something you cannot change your
mind.
COMMENT:
In terms of application to this study, this technique is usually used in an
attempt to place a guilt trip upon someone if they and their families
have previously agreed to enter betrothal
(engagement) or a marriage. It can
be associated with the entire process of parental support of this most important
decision in life. The verses
commonly used to support this reasoning are:
Matt.
5:37 “But,
let your ‘Yes be Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’
For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.
James
5:12 But above
all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other
oath. But let your “Yes” be
“Yes,” and your “No,” “No,” lest you fall into judgement.
The
Truth: In the
most translations of James 5:12 and Matt. 5:37 one sentence may be taken out of
each scripture which seems to indicate that once you say yes or no, you should
not change your mind.
The
Whole Truth:
When one approaches scripture by taking one sentence out here and there to prove
something, it is usually because they are devoid of knowledge or being fraudulent.
In Matt. 5:37 the topic concerns oaths and begins in verse 33.
This scripture is within the context of the beatitudes, The Sermon on the
Mount. Now the Sermon on the Mount
is about the spiritual intent of the Laws of God.
It is about how to put hypocrisy aside and live like Christ wants us too.
Rarely would a deceiver ever call your attention to the context of
Chapter 5. He is only searching for
some isolated scripture to prove his point.
An oath is a special kind of promise.
The beatitudes address spiritual adultery of the heart.
They are not about the need to terminate a reprobate betrothal.
The
second scripture, James 5:12 is
within the entire fifth chapter of the Book of James.
The topic concerns how to approach patience and persevering in a hostile
age and environment. Immediately
following verse 12 is verse 13. Verse
13 of course alludes to how to qualify for divine healing.
Whatever is in verse 12, the context makes it plain you would be ill
advised to try to prove a point about not changing your mind from one sentence
taken out of the context of a chapter devoted to showing how to get things right
with God so that you might be healed.
Nothing
But the Truth: It
is commonly known that fraud
constituted grounds for the annulment of a betrothal
arrangement in the Old Testament and at the time Christ was on earth.
The fraud did have to be
discovered before the actual marriage was completed though.
The statutes and laws of God concerning interaction among people contains
many examples of the principles of fraud
and how to deal with this vile sin once discovered.
Under the spiritual intent of the law, any fraudulent
purpose, once discovered, can annul previous agreements.
Within the Churches of God, baptized members are not supposed to be
misrepresenting anything. There is no case in the Bible for not being able to change
one’s mind concerning betrothal.
The father has the final say. To
proceed with a marriage once fraud is
discovered will reap the rewards of a life you probably will not want.
You are not supposed to be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
This does include an individual who demonstrates a reprobate
understanding of scripture, even if they are hanging around what looks like the
Church of God. Tares
are allowed to coexist with the true disciples of Christ.
Example
#7
Genesis
2:24 proves that young people must leave their parents and form a separate
entity.
Genesis
2:24 Therefore
a man shall leave his father and mother and be
joined to his wife, and they shall
become one flesh.
The
Truth: Taken by
itself, Genesis 2:24 does seem to imply that young people should leave
their families, especially males. The
role of females is not specifically addressed in this scripture.
The
Whole Truth:
Genesis is a book of origins. When
this book was written the language used was economical writing.
This was because it was rather slow chiseling out biblical instructions
on clay tablets. Not everything
said was recorded on any given topic in this book.
The scripture cited involves the original institution of marriage as a
divine institution for a divine purpose, nothing more.
I have before me a New King James Version of the Bible.
Bibles vary with text size and other considerations, but in this book
Genesis 2:24 is on page 3. The Book
of Revelation ends on Page 1,809. You
would be ill advised to accept any doctrinal proof based upon the first 3 pages
of any book, let alone the Bible. You
should have more proof and should see what else is said on the entire matter in
the rest of the Bible. You are not
interested in what the word “leave”
might mean in the wild imaginations of some psychologist or false minister.
You should be interested in what God, and God alone, really means.
Nothing
But the Truth:
The argument above ignores traditional Church of God doctrine.
I would recommend that you read The
Incredible Human Potential. This
book clearly shows something that most people fail to recognize.
This incredible truth is that GOD
IS A FAMILY! When did this
doctrine change? What God are you worshipping?
Marriage is a divine institution and the father is The Head of the Family.
Since 1968 there has been an unrelenting effort on Satan’s part to
deceive the true church. Modernizing
religious beliefs within the Churches of God has allowed a doctrine that
replaces the doctrine that God is a
Family. This spurious doctrine
is that God
is making a Family. There
is a lot of difference. Which God
do you worship?
This doctrine sounds close, but close only counts in the game of
horseshoes.
The
next set of Scriptures this study examines covers an argument presented to me
concerning what is meant by “leaving
your father and mother.” I
hope to show the faulty logic involved from a secular as well as biblical
perspective. The culture of the United States portrays the need to totally
separate from parents and do your own thing (See Hadley Moore).
This social philosophy is pawned off as freedom and properly maturing.
The argument presented to me has bought into this
lie. The person making
this argument simply does not understand The Ways
of God. Satan has deceived
many into thinking this is the way things should be.
The divorce rates speak for the real truth of this issue.
Example
#8
Matt.
19:4-6 Two arguments are presented concerning this scripture.
1) The word “leave”
suggests a total and complete departure. 2) Even where marriages are made out of
God’s will, once the relation is entered into, God doesn’t want it to be
broken.
Matthew
19:4-6 And he
answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the
beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a
man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they
twain shall be one flesh? 6
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.
What therefore God hath joined
together, let not man put asunder.
The
Truth: From the
book of common usage, we learn that
the word “leave”
as used in Matt: 19:5 can be used to mean a total and complete withdrawal.
This is definitely one possibility as the argument states.
Many worldly commentaries and Bible Dictionaries support this theory
concerning the intent of the word “leave.”
Point #2 is correct, that it is God’s will that all marriages should
not be broken.
The
Whole Truth:
The word “leave”
has other possibilities regarding usage
and intent. To determine
the intended meaning, all of the
scriptures in the Bible must be considered regarding family
and marriage. The concept that God
binds all marriages is an earlier doctrine of the Churches of God that has been
replaced by intellectual, spirit led scholars.
This doctrine was rejected based upon the scholarship
of these swell, spirit led scholars,
instead of revelation.
The true Disciples of Christ
are supposed to be lead by the Spirit of God and look to Him to reveal doctrine
to their minds. The argument stated
above does not address entering an
unlawful marriage. To argue that
one may enter any marriage, not
sanctified by the parents of the offspring involved is not possible from
this scripture, especially if you are supposed to be learning God’s will and
have been told
no. I agree that God
binds all marriages (despite scholarship), but an attempt to establish the
argument stated in the example based upon this scripture is simply not valid.
Nothing
But the Truth:
Like all Bible study, one must never take a few scriptures out of context of the
chapter, book, or entire Bible. Otherwise
a faulty conclusion may result. The
scriptures cited were a response given by Jesus to the Pharisees who came
testing him. The topic addressed
was marriage and divorce. To answer
this question, Jesus began by referring to Genesis 2:24 as background
information. Yes, divorce and
remarriage has always been a big topic among the People
of God, even in Christ’s time. The
entire answer was given to a concern over how to lawfully divorce someone and
remarry.
Christ’s answer was not given to explain how to marry The Wife of Your Youth. Note
that in Matt. 19:9 (the rest of the story) there
are strong words used in Matt. 19:9 which would indicate that it is almost
impossible to remarry without committing adultery.
Example
#9
From
Mark 10:6-9 it is clear that the marriage relationship is closer than that
between parent and child. It is
also clear that “leave”
is a strong verb meaning leave behind.
Mark
10:6-9 But from
the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
7 For this cause shall a man leave
his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8 And they twain shall be one
flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9 What therefore God hath joined
together, let not man put asunder.
The
Truth: Some
commentaries do make this argument and in the wildest imaginations of human
reasoning the arguments in Example #9 could be made.
The
Whole Truth:
The tenth chapter of Mark is a parallel set of scriptures to Matthew 19.
The topic of the chapter again is divorce and how to do it lawfully. A deceiver
will not point out that the rest of the chapter has a lot to say and adds more
information to the parallel accounts in Mathew 19. Jesus again refers to Genesis 2:24 as background information
and then answers the original questions the Pharisees put to him.
In verses 11-12, he plainly tells them divorce causes one to commit
adultery.
Nothing
But the Truth:
The context of the entire tenth chapter of Mark indicates that whatever Jesus
was addressing, he never got into making it clear that the marriage relationship
is closer than the relationship between parents and children.
The two relationships are different and that is all.
One may be closer than the other depending upon the couples, or it may
not. To try to argue that the
doctrinal stance in Example #9 can be made from these scriptures is an example
of sheer desperation to twist and pervert
scripture. In order to conclude the
analysis of the parallel accounts in Matt. 19 and Mark 10, we need to read the Rest
Of The Story.
Mark
10:19 (NKJV)
You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery,’ ‘Do not murder.’
‘Do not steal,’ ‘Do not bear false witness,’ ‘Do
not bear false witness,’ ‘Do not
defraud,’ ‘Honor your father and your mother.’”
A
close examination of Matt. 19:18-19 will reveal that some commandments mentioned
in Mark’s version are left out, most notably the commandment concerning fraud.
The Whole Truth and Nothing But
the Truth, or the Plain Truth of the matter is that people will do anything to justify
their anti-biblical reasoning. They
will always run to different translations and commentaries, desperately
searching to prove a point. Deceivers
will stop at nothing to prove a point. In
reality, all one has to do is stop trying to get their
own way and follow the plain instructions of the Bible, humbly seeking
God’s revelation. God’s word is
simple. God
is a Family and He has willed that His government be modeled within physical
families (See article by George M. Kackos) to
bring about the best results and produce godly offspring.
Example #10
The
argument in this example was made on the basis of various Bible references which
supposedly shed light on what the Scriptures are talking about.
The author of all these arguments starts by saying that-In Moses’ day,
the custom called for a man bringing his new wife home where she basically
became a slave of her husband’s mother. The
reference is supposed to go on and say Genesis 2:24 is in reference to letting
couples have more of their own life, where God wanted the family
unit to be strong.
COMMENT:
I am not exactly sure what the customs in Moses’ day have to do with
the original institution of marriage by The Eternal. In Genesis 2:24 the only couple around was Adam and Eve.
I presume the author of the arguments posted believes that they did right
in choosing to have more freedom to decide what they wished too do, by this
argument. Of course, The Eternal
was their parent and disagreed. Being
the prude that he was, he cut them off financially so to speak, and made them
make their own way in life. I
believe that Adam and Eve indeed did get all the freedom they wanted, it just
did not turn out the way they expected. The
author of the “leave parents at all
costs and totally”
argument does bring up an interesting point of view concerning the new wife
being a slave of the husband’s mother though.
I will develop this as we progress in addressing the issues this example
poses.
Since
in Examples #8
& #9, the Genesis 2:24 application was shown to be in error since
the topic was how to divorce and remarry, freedom of a young couple would not
have been an issue. Before moving on I would like to point out that without
exception, when a doubtful position concerning scripture arises, people run to
commentaries and dictionaries to try and prove the exception. All major
Bible references are based upon the KJV and some words inserted and not part of
the original text in italics. In
the NKJV and NASB versions, entire passages are set apart with either italics or
some form of raised text. It should
be noted here that Ephesians 5:31 is one of these texts.
Example
#10
The
argument presented on the basis of expert opinions voiced in The
Complete Bible Library contends that Ephesians 5:31 shows:
-It
describes beautifully the leaving,
cleaving and weaving process through which people go as they leave their
childhood homes and establish homes of their own.
-First,
there must be a definite leaving
behind of the childhood family.
While it may work for some, it probably would be much better for newly
wedded couples not to live with their families,
not even extremely close to them.
Ephesians
5: 31 For this
cause shall a man leave
his father and mother, and shall be joined
unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
The
Truth: The
Bible help referenced does make these points concerning Ephesians 5:31.
The Complete Bible Library is not really considered the best
resource for biblical reference.
The
Whole Truth: In
Ephesians 5:31 it is possible to fabricate
the idea in the first argument about “leaving
their childhood home.” But,
this idea cannot be developed with just an isolated view of Genesis 2:24, the
scripture referred to in this verse. The
entire Bible has to be brought in to justify something like this if
this argument exists. Otherwise it
is just the product of an overactive imagination of some self-appointed Bible
student. After all, there are only
25 words in Ephesians 5:31.
Nothing
But the Truth: Ephesians
5:31 is written within the context of the entire Fifth chapter of the Book of
Ephesians. Before Chapter 5 of
course comes Chapter 4. The theme
of Ephesians 4:17-29 concerns the mystery of the individual calling and
describes one’s walk as a regenerated man and in Ephesians 4:30-32 describes
the walk of a believer indwelt
by the Spirit. Chapter 5 describes
the believer’s walk as a child in the God
Family. Yes, the focus is
indeed on family, the whole family.
As an analogy to make a point Ephesians 5:31 is added to the text of
chapter 5. But there is something
strange about this chapter. Yes, if
you check all the translations there are anywhere from two words, up to the
entire verse italicized or set apart
with special font.
Anytime you see this you need to be careful.
It usually means words have been added and are needed for understanding.
In Ephesians 5:31, two words are added by the translators for clarity.
These words are “cause” and “his.”
This verse is what is called a "free"
quotation”,
that is, it is not word-for-word, but it is correct in the sense that a
paraphrase can be correct. The
trick is, that the paraphrase must be correct.
In this case I believe it to be correct.
Usually translations are correct, even if paraphrased.
Chapter 5 is not about leaving your physical family,
it is about how government works in the Church within the family
as a model (See George M. Kackos article).
Finally, we must note that
Ephesians, Chapter 6 follows Chapter 5. Paul
finishes the epistle by focusing on Obedience. Yes, obedience
and respect to elders and those in authority is a most important part of
God’s Way. After all that is said and done in Chapter 5, the focus is
again on family and how God’s government
works. Do you not think it strange
that if Epesians 5:31 shows that young couples must leave, that is break the
bond with parents and totally leave to the other side of the globe, that Paul
would start the final Chapter of his letter to the Ephesians focusing on obedience
and respect towards parents? Whatever
Paul is teaching in the book of Ephesians, to try to concoct some doctrinal
stance that it proves the bond between parents and children must be permanently
cut, just will not fit the mold. God is the author of unity and peace
and strong families, not weak families
and confusion.
Ephesians
6:1-3 Children,
obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment
with promise: 3 “that it may be well with you and
you may live long on the earth,”(Note the italics. The Book of
Ephesians has a lot of free quotation).
Paul
needed to clarify certain things to the church congregation at Ephesus.
This was a reasonably wealthy town on the trading routes.
They were gentiles and worshipped the
Asiatic goddess Diana. Her temple
was one of the Seven Wonders of the World.
Paul emphasized God’s intent for one
wife as part of his analogy concerning the one
church. This was because there
was a quaint custom among the upper class and royalty of the gentile world.
They had numerous wives. Did
you ever hear of the “Queen Mother?”
This is a biblical term. Usually
the Queen Mother, was the only woman who really
had the King’s ear. This was true
of the Kings of Israel and Judah in later years as well as gentile kingdoms.
The wives really had very little interaction with the King and were not
close. They were just convenient
bed partners, but the real intimacy was reserved for the mother. Paul emphasized a close relationship with husband and wife as
an analogy to how the church was supposed to function. But, mark well that government was an issue in the fifth
chapter of the Book of Ephesians.
Indeed,
wives of a king, or wealthy men, became slaves to the mother. Since
Christians are destined to become members of the Royal Family of God, it follows
that their wives should not become slaves.
In Paul’s day, they had “Mamma’s
Boys “, just like they do today.
It is quite common for a man to try to force his wife to leave her family
(totally), but he will not break the spiritual umbilical cord with his mother. God’s intent
is to have the husband and one wife
form a close relationship, but not at the expense of moving to the other side of
the globe. This is a perverted idea spawned by modern psychology.
Sometimes
Nothing But the Truth is quite
complicated. Now you know the Rest
of the Story. Young folks,
mark well that when someone is focusing on you leaving,
making a definite and clean break from your childhood family,
it is not biblical as this study will show.
If you fall for this, you are setting yourself up to become The
Forlorn Hope. The
husband and wife relationship is not stronger than parents to children.
It is just different. Most
Anglo-Saxxon parents would willingly die for their children, the relationship is
that close. How about your husband,
would he die for your children? The
final point in this topic of Nothing But
the Truth is that you should notice that in the entire Book of Ephesians,
nothing is mentioned or implied concerning dating
and betrothal.
That is a different topic. One
must always remember, First Things First.
Do not let a deceiver confuse you and change the topic or issues.
You are not married, until you are married.
What
Way Should You Go?
Proverbs
22:6 (NASB)
Train up a child in the
way he should go, Even when he (or she) is old he/she will not depart
from it.
This
is the essence of the whole question before young people concerning dating, betrothal,
and eventually marriage. The answer
of course can be found in the Word of God and the teachings of the True Church
of God before gross apostasy concealed this information.
What way should you go? One must always remember, “First
things first.” The answer to
the question of this subhead can be found in the very fine article Mr. George M.
Kackos wrote in 1986 that I continually refer to. I quote from page 16 of the February, 1986, Good News magazine, “Children
should be taught from infancy to recognize and willingly submit to parental
authority. If that authority reflects the love and concern of God, they
will learn he value of loving parents and be able to be loving parents when they
marry and have heir own families.”
It
is that simple, family first, then marriage
for the practical experience in preparation to enter the God
Family. I will wind down
this chapter with more insight from women.
Here is a secular parable that reiterates Proverbs 22:6.
You do not have to be in the Churches of God to have common sense.
"A child will hear his mother’s voice
for the rest of his life"
I
wonder what it is that my children will ‘hear’ for the rest of their lives?
Are the messages that I am imparting, knowingly and unconsciously, the
kinds of positive pronouncements that will inspire and guide them well?
One
friend of mine said the message she remembers from her mother was marry well (In
the Church), find a successful man to be your husband.
That friend ended up twice divorced and only realized well after she’d
turned forty that marrying for financial security (or
because someone looks like they are in the church) was not the key to
personal happiness or a solid relationship.
My
own mother often said to my sisters and me, "I don’t care what you girls
do for a living, but I want you to work so that you will know you never have to
be dependent upon a man for your survival." Mom had been a career woman before she married my father and
knew the self-confidence that came from having made her own way in the corporate
world. I too feel a sense of
security knowing that having a career means I can provide for my family if, God
forbid, something should happen to my husband.
But
do I continue to work because my mother’s voice is still ringing in my mind?
Am I afraid to leave the world of daily deadlines because of some
unarticulated fear of becoming dependent?
And
what message am I sending the little people in my own house who call me Mommy?
Though I know what they probably hear most right now is, "What’s
the first thing a gentleman does when he sits at the table?"
(Answer: Put your napkin in your lap!), I hope that the affirmations they
remember from me have to do with compassion and kindness.
A
child will hear his mother’s voice for the rest of his life.
My prayer this week is that the message my children – and the other
important people in my life –hear from me is one that I wouldn’t mind
hearing repeated.
I truly hope that my children will always hear the words of their mother, ringing in their ears. I hope they will mirror the wishes of the anonymous author above. Once again I quote from the 1986 Good News Article by Mr. Kackos, “Wives and mothers contribute as homemakers, a task that requires dedication, education and hard work. In some cases she must supplement the family income. But at all times her goal is to provide love and care for her family. The high standards of a wife and mother are best described in Proverbs 31.”
What way should
you go?
Why the way of Abraham, the way of obedience
to God’s Laws, of course. Learn
all of the truth, not just part of it and apply the truth in your lives, in your
dating and approach to betrothal.
You do not leave your family, Abraham
did not. He took a large chunk of it with him when he, like the
fictional Sinbad, went on his quest.
Abraham done it all the right way, he obeyed
God. Obedience and government
is the key to it all. This study,
hopefully will show young people, God’s
Will in their lives. Then just
maybe, they can live by faith.
This study is about to become exciting.
In the next few chapters we will examine a host of good examples and bad
examples concerning personalities. The
Old Testament is included for our admonition.
The majority of these character actors will be negative, male examples. The principles apply to females too. The trick is to know these examples so you can spot people
you will not want to become married to or date.
Conclusion
Herbert W. Armstrong used to challenge everyone
with “Don’t believe me, believe your
Bibles!” Sadly, there are not
many self-appointed leaders that say this anymore.
In the next chapter we will examine the modernization
of Christianity. I hope to show you
how this deception works and applies
to the misconceptions concerning dating and betrothal
within God’s True Church. Serious
Bible scholars never try to justify Sunday observance over Saturday from the
Bible. That is because they know it is not possible.
Likewise, serious Bible students would never try to deny the authority of
a father within a family over the final say in
the betrothal of a daughter or annulling a betrothal
of either a young man or woman. That
is because they know it is not possible to do so.
They have to revert to the opinions
and traditions of men to do
this. Sadly, the fruits of this
reasoning have been vividly implanted on the history of western civilization for
the last fifty years in the number of divorces, broken homes, and abortions that
have taken place. It would be a “blind
soul indeed, who could not see that something is amiss.”
Proverbs
22:2 (NASB) The
eyes of the Lord preserves knowledge, But He overthrows the words of the
treacherous man.
Chapter
7, 2/11/02