Chapter
6:
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Malachi
2:13-17 (NASV) ""This is another thing you do: you cover the altar of
the LORD with tears, with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer
regards the offering or accepts it
with favor from your hand.
14
""Yet you say, "For what reason?' Because the LORD has been a
witness between you and the wife of your
youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously,
though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.
15
""But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what
did that one do while he was seeking a godly
offspring? Take
heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the
wife of your youth.
16
""For I hate divorce,'' says the LORD,
the God of Israel, ""and him who covers his garment with wrong,'' says
the LORD of hosts. ""So
take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.''
17
You have wearied the LORD with your words. Yet you say, ""How have we
wearied Him?'' In that you say, ""Everyone who does evil is
good in the sight of the LORD, and He delights in them,'' or,
""Where is the God of justice?''
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CHAPTER 6: The Wife of Your Youth!
Yes,
it is important in God’s opinion that you deal correctly with what he inspired
Malachi to call “The Wife of Your Youth.”
We can glean from this scripture that if you deal treacherously with this
special person, your wife by covenant, you will find yourself in all kinds of
trouble. God’s laws work
automatically. It is not God’s
intention for young people to approach dating
and betrothal with the ultimate aim of divorce.
Yet, this is precisely what many do subconsciously, because they do not understand
God’s ways.
In this chapter we will deal with how you might weary
the Lord, the topic of verse 17. Get
this point straight right here, IF
you do not approach dating and betrothal
correctly and in the right attitude, you will weary the Lord. This
goes for both males and females. It
is not always the man’s fault. Usually
it is. This is because God puts the
responsibility of leadership on the prospective
groom, just as he later will in life if this individual becomes a husband
and father. Remember, First
Things First. The reason
God is so picky about dating,
betrothal and eventually marriage among his
called candidates to qualify for the Kingdom of God is because he desires Godly
Offspring as verse 15 points out.
Where
Are You Going?
Briefly,
I would like to talk about the movie, The
Ten Commandments. There
is a scene in which Dathan, played by Edward G. Robinson, asks a question that
is most significant to all of us, especially those in the process of finding a
mate within the Churches of God. The
scene I want to examine takes place on the morning following the Death Angel’s
passing through the land of Egypt. The
Israelites were naturally in a happy mood because they had been passed over.
Joshua,
played by John Derek, came to Dathan’s home to claim the love of his life,
Lilia, played by Debra Paget. She
was being held captive by Dathan who was trying to lure her into a relationship.
It appears that she had kept herself from him, and so everything still
looks hopeful for Lilia (Debra Paget) and Joshua (John Derek).
Anyway, Joshua (John Derek) announces to Dathan that they were leaving
their slavery in Egypt, and Dathan, with a rather cynical and perplexed look on
his face asked, "Where are we going?"
The
reality of the situation is that in real life the Israelites knew
where they were going! How do I
know that they knew where they were going?
None of them had ever been to the Promised Land, just as none of us has
ever been to the Kingdom of God, but they knew the promise to Abraham.
We know this because Hebrews, Chapter 4:2 says that "the gospel was preached unto them," and Moses would have told
them where they were going. Lacking
fancy topographic maps, the Israelites probably could not appreciate the
directions, but they were told where they were going.
Young
people have to be able to separate
reality from the movies when picking a mate. The world presents a very alluring vision when it tries to
persuade you that you are a full fledged adult, capable of making up you own
mind. In reality, we know from
God’s account in the scriptures that Moses was forty years in Midian.
It would have been very doubtful that Lilia of the movies would have been
able to keep from being raped for forty years.
The question is, will you as young people within the Churches of God
allow your minds to be raped concerning biblical protocol and God’s way concerning dating,
betrothal
and eventual marriage? Just because
you may be dating
someone theoretically within the church is meaningless.
In later chapters, we will examine a host of biblical stereotypes of
negative leadership examples, primarily male in gender.
One must always remember that tares
are allowed to coexist among God’s People.
Young
people, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
Are you dating towards divorce in the near future? Are you dating
and entering a betrothal
based upon biblical example with the ultimate aim of having your marriage sanctified by two families? You will be
doing either one or the other. Many
people within the Churches of God do not really know where they are going.
People demonstrate this by the way they pick and choose doctrine based
upon inconveniences of the moment. We
all do this from time to time. Even
in 1986, the church still taught a governmental structure within the individual families with a father at the head. But,
how many really believe that now? It
sounds nice, but if a father makes a decision, does the family
really support it?
There
is a point where a woman is not considered young anymore.
Rather, she is considered fully mature.
This will probably occur around age 30.
Yes, the church used to teach that the ideal age to be married was 23-25
years of age and it did not promote marrying older men. The
dangers of the age difference were well known then and still are.
What the church taught was that the man should be able to support his family. Most often this
equated in people’s minds to marrying an older man, usually a significant
number of years older. It does take
awhile to become financially stable. That
is why God wants marriages stabilized
and sanctified by two
families. Marrying anyone a lot older than you are is a formula for
marital suicide and some form of abuse. The
record speaks for itself.
Often,
people will turn to the biblical examples of Abigail and Bathsheba to show that
women could arrange their own marriages. They
would of course be correct, but again truth is categorical. They
will probably not be telling the whole story. It would be
inconvenient because it might not benefit their ultimate purpose. First, both these ladies were widows. They most certainly were not naïve in the ways of the world
they lived in. They were
undoubtedly older and had been married for quite awhile. They had adjusted to
the emotional problems most newlyweds go through and were in control of their
emotions. Abigail had a
sizeable inheritance. Further,
she had the biblical understanding to do what needed to be done.
Her actions were righteous and she saved her entire household from being
slaughtered. It is evident that she
probably fit the description of the Proverbs
31 wife. She was a very capable
individual and could manage a business. Undoubtedly
both these ladies were probably not too hard to look at. The Bible does not give a picture of King David marrying ugly
women.
The
most important point under this subhead would be for young people to realize
there is a distinct difference
between a fully mature adult with experience in life and a young woman who has
never been married. A young woman
with little or no worldly experience is what God intends to become “The
Wife of Your Youth.” She is
the one you are to marry and grow up with and raise a family
with. That is the biblical intent.
In Old Testament times she dared not go out on her own.
Young virgins were and still are in much demand within the slave trade to
vice rings. In one way or another,
and at one time or another, mankind has perverted
every good thing God ever created. Our
life is a journey from a world of perversion
into a glorious world of peace and harmony. Young
people, your ideas and approach to dating,
betrothal,
and eventually marriage is part of that journey out of a perverted
world. Make no mistake about it,
there is parental authority involved and a system of government involved in this
decision.
Subject:
Witch or..........?
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a
neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by
Arthur's youthful happiness. So he
offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question.
Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he
still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question was: What do
women really want?
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and,
to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. Well, since it was better than death, he accepted the
monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the
princess, the priests, the wise men, the court jester.
In all, he spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory
answer. What most people did tell
him was to consult the old witch, as only she would know the answer.
The price would be high, since the witch was famous throughout the
kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to
talk to the witch.
She
agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price first:
The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the Knights
of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified. She
was hunchbacked and awfully hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage
water, often made obscene noises...etc. He
had never run across such a repugnant creature.
He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure such a
burden.
Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.
He told him that nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to Arthur's
life and the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered
Arthur's question:
What a woman really wants is to be able to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great
truth
and that Arthur's life would be spared. And
so it went. The neighboring monarch
spared Arthur's life and granted him total freedom.
What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and anguish.
Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous.
The old witch put her worst manners on display, and generally made
everyone very uncomfortable.
The
wedding night approached:
Gawain, steeling
himself for a horrific night, entered the bedroom.
What a sight awaited! The
most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before him!
Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened.
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her (when
she'd been a witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self, and
the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self.
Which would he want her to be during the day, and which during the night?
What
a cruel question! Gawain began to
think of his predicament.
During the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or, would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many intimate moments with? What would you do? What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read until you've made your own choice.
Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon
hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he
had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life.
What
is the moral of this story?
The moral is that it doesn't matter if your woman is pretty or
ugly, underneath it all, she's still a witch---and don't you forget it!
This
is one of those forwards that come over the Internet.
I do not know how people find these modern parables but this one has a haunting
element of biblical knowledge built into its structure.
In Genesis 3:6-7 we have the first account of women taking in charge
of their own lives. This scripture
gives the account of Eve giving into temptation and determining for herself what
was right and what was wrong. There
is a reason that Satan tempted Eve. There is something about a woman’s nature that is
susceptible to fraud, especially when
they are young. It is quite widely
known that men and women do not think the same way.
Somehow,
a woman just has to trust others. When
that tall, handsome man looks into her eyes and gives her a line, she looks
back, just begging him to allow her to trust him. She is so vulnerable and needs to be able to trust him.
When he starts leading her down the path to making adult decisions, he
will focus her on her self-worth and how valuable her opinions are.
Yes, this is the general approach and it is the modern approach portrayed
by the media today. Young ladies,
have you bought The Lie? Young men, are you dealing treacherously with one of the
King’s daughter?
Most
young people wish to have some kind of control over their lives and they really
fall for the notion that they can make adult decisions, especially concerning picking
a mate. Most never consider these
decisions could be faulty or understand the consequences these decisions could
have for themselves and future generations.
Most young women are very vulnerable to deception.
They are designed to be mothers and as such have a very weak spot in
their nature.
How
many books have been written and television programs explored the exploits of
The House of Windsor and its young people?
The marriage of Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer is probably the
classic example of what not to do when approaching marriage.
Almost any degree of common sense available seems to have been broken,
not to even mention biblical protocol.
In
the August 2001 issue of the Readers
Digest, I was taken by another article explaining this tragedy.
It was written by Ingrid Seward and titled Diana.& The Queen.
Apparently Mrs. Seward covered the royal family for eighteen years during
this time and attempts to shed more light on the events surrounding Diana’s
life and death with the Royal Family.
The
first fundamental rule broken was that Charles, however charming, was a much
older man. He had already been
through several affairs but was finally ready to take a wife and do his duty of providing
royal heirs. Older men are set in
their ways and a younger wife always gives up her friends and family. Older men have
usually spent many years doing everything they want to do and suddenly decide to
do some young woman the favor of taking her for a wife. He gives her the opportunity to make her day, so to speak.
Diana
was sorely mismatched. It may have
been very flattering to be dating
the future King of England but not a lot of common sense was involved, only
lust. I cannot help but wonder
where her father was. Her mother
had left home years ago. I guess it
was just too much of an ego trip to have a daughter marry a future king.
The problem was the entire relationship was doomed to failure from the
start. This union was doomed to
become part of The Forlorn Hope.
Yes,
Prince Charles was dating
a very young woman from the right bloodlines.
He had to give up Camilla Parker Bowles. The author of the article makes the point that despite
Diana’s denials, the dating
and engagement
was sanctified by the Queen. It
had to be, or it simply would not have taken place. There are rules for who enters a royal family, remember?
Prince
Charles perfectly fits many of the negative male stereotypes described in the
Bible. First, he was a spineless
person who had to get what is called a “Cheap
Proposal.” Yes, the author
shows how he approached the subject by asking, “If I were to ask, what do you
think you might say?” Naturally,
Diana said “Yeah, okay.” Guess
what? They were suddenly engaged.
Gutless Prince Charles had
made no commitment, taken no risk, and given up nothing.
Now he had a trophy wife to
show off.
All
the glamour and money of Buckingham Palace could not save the reprobate
marriage of Prince Charles. To put
it simply, he was a lousy candidate for anyone to marry.
Additionally, Diana simply did not understand the stress of being in the
royal family. Having a staff to
schedule your time, your every waking moment, a year in advance was something
she was not prepared for.
We
all know the ending. Poor,
reprobate, Prince Charles was forced to return to his Mistress and trash his family. After all, he had responsibilities, I guess he owed it to
himself. Rule number one, never
marry someone a lot older than yourself. Like
Lady Diana Spencer, you might be setting yourself up to be The
Forlorn Hope. Rule number two ladies, never accept a Cheap Proposal.
No
Good Men Left
Young
women are increasingly forced to face the reality that it is practically
impossible to find a good man anymore. Princess
Diana was not unique in this problem. Increasingly,
men are becoming more worthless and reprobate in nature.
Society as a whole is becoming more decadent so it is no surprise that
potential mates are more selfish and manipulating that ever.
Isaiah
4:1
In that day seven women will take hold of one man and say, "We will eat our
own food and provide our own clothes; only let us be called by your name. Take
away our disgrace!"
This
passage of scripture seems to be more applicable every day.
It is widely known how men are becoming increasingly decadent and useless.
One of the features of the time of the end is when women cannot find a
good man. This scripture truly
shows the ability of God to accurately describe the future.
I
feel for my daughters because this problem is not isolated to the world in
general. Just being associated with
the Churches of God does not resolve this problem for young ladies.
This makes it even more important for a father to be involved with
helping his daughters or sons sort through the dating
and betrothal
phase of life.
Being
the father of four daughters I have come to value each of them and the
perspectives they have on life. I
know that they have been born to be mothers some day. They have given their mother and I immense pleasure over the
years and we have always appreciated watching them grow.
Naturally, we try to insure they will have a better life than we have.
This is a natural parent’s perspective, but now as they approach a
marriageable age, I find myself cast in an adversarial
role as their father. I realize the
stakes involved and understand God’s Ways, His laws and how I am to function in this capacity.
The adversarial role comes
from a lack of understanding on their part of how I am to function.
The world they live in paints a totally different picture concerning
parents’ roles and they are subject to this perverted
view everywhere they go.
I
have never ceased to be amazed at these daughters and their individuality and
creativity. Since I have grown up
with these girls, I have a bias towards the perspectives of women with
understanding and insight. I
believe this is called discernment in
biblical terms. I wish to share a
most amazing woman’s point of view concerning life at this point of the study.
"One
of the ironies of the human being is that when he has lost his way,
he travels twice as fast"
Rollo
May
We’ve
all done it. Taken a wrong turn.
Missed the exit. And become furious at
ourselves
when it happens.
Why is it you never get lost when you’ve actually got time to find your way
back?
Invariably it happens when we’ve got an appointment to keep.
In our
effort
to get back on the road to where we thought we were headed, we hit the
accelerator
and make some wild turns, all while feeling panicky about the
situation
we’ve gotten ourselves into.
It’s
the same when we’ve lost our sense of life direction. When we don’t really
know
where we’re going in life, we tend to make lots of quick moves always
with
that nagging feeling in the pit of one’s stomach that what we’re doing is
really
getting us no closer to where we want to be.
We rush pell mell onward —
never
really knowing where we are headed. And
unlike those times when we’re
lost
on the highway, there’s really no where to pull into to ask directions.
Or
is there?
If
the lost traveler really needs only to slow down, pull out a map and take a
moment
to figure out where he is … can those of us who’ve lost our direction in
life
do the same? Of course, but in our
fast paced world where time is now
measured
in milliseconds and information in bits and bites, it isn’t easy.
If
you feel you’ve lost your way, take an hour
from your busy week and ask
yourself,
"Where are you?" Is it
where you hoped you’d be in life? If
you’ve not
reached
your destination, are you even on the
right freeway to get there? Is
there
light at the end of the tunnel in which you find yourself — or is that just
another
oncoming train?
If
the answer to these questions is ‘No.’ Then ask for directions — and the
best
person
to give them is yourself. During
this quiet stationary time in which
you’re
taking stock, search your heart and ask what it is you truly want in life.
Make
sure your goals are your goals and not those which society might dictate
for
you. And then slowly start moving
in that direction.
And
as you see so many others in the world speeding beside you in their various
directions,
you can wonder, ‘Maybe they are really travelling twice as fast,
because
they too have lost their way.’
Young
ladies, can you appreciate your genetic weakness to be susceptible to fraud?
Can you overcome the pulls of the flesh and attitudes of the world that
tell you that you must call your own shots?
Can you appreciate that you, like the woman who wrote this amazing
article, appreciate that you are on the road of life?
You can and probably will take a lot of wrong turns on this road.
You may meet a young man who may be sincere, but maybe he too has lost
his way and is trying to overcorrect. If
so, entering a serious relationship with this young man would be a “fools
errand.”
I
ask you, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
When it comes to picking a mate, don’t wing it.
Do not try it alone. The
stakes are too high. When you are
wondering if you will ever find a place to pull in to get directions on this
road of life, remember there is a spot. Almighty
God has placed in his basic building block of society parents to guide and help
protect you. I know the world will
tell you it is not cool. If you do
not know where you are going, first find out
WHERE YOU ARE.
You
are a young lady who deserves and needs her family
and parents in this hostile world when it comes to picking a mate.
As the author has discovered, you should not let society dictate your
goals. Young ladies in the Churches
of God need to let God dictate their goals and their approach to dating
and betrothal.
When
you finally complete the dating and betrothal phase of a successful relationship.
You deserve two houses to sanctify
and support your marriage to someone your age and with common interests.
Why would you want to spiritually leave your father’s house?
When you look through the tunnel of life in picking a mate, get help.
What you might be looking at is an oncoming train.
Do not practice lawlessness, otherwise you may Weary the Lord.
Chapter 6,
2/11/02