Chapter 2:   

What is crooked cannot be made straight and what is lacking cannot be numbered.  (Ecclesiastes 1:15)

CHAPTER 2:    Hope

  There is nothing more important in life than the worship of God.  Despite its importance, our culture forces us to most frequently think of worship in terms of what happens during religious services.  But worship is far broader than that as shown in Chapter 1, because worship is the giving of homage to God.  Worship is the action of paying respect, of giving respect, of giving tribute to Him.  It is the paying of reverential deference and therefore it reaches out to encompass our every act in reference to our relationship with Him, and not merely what one does in services on Sabbath and Holy Days, or even in prayer and Bible Study each day.  It will include, among other things, how we approach dating and betrothal in the Churches of God.

  The emphasis here is on action, giving, serving, obeying, paying.  These are all aspects of worshipping God.  Worship describes how we respond to God on the job, at home, in our marriage, how we drive our cars, because the deference, the respect that we give Him in each and every area of life reflects how seriously we take Him.  By worship we show how important being like him really is.  Through worship we show how important seeking to please Him really is to us.  Worship reveals the value that we place on our relationship with the God Family.

  For we are being saved in hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man sees, why does he yet hope for? (Romans 8.24)

  This part of the study will examine Hope within the worship of God as it pertains to dating and betrothal.  Notice the above scripture.  This is one on hope which is not mentioned very often.  Having noted this scripture, let us start with three of the most basic Scriptures regarding faith.  

For by grace are you saved through faith. (Ephesians 2.8)

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11.1)

So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. (Romans 10.17)

   Ephesians 2.8 it says that we are saved by grace, and states faith’s overall importance to salvation.  In Hebrews 11.1—"Faith is shown as the foundation of things hoped for" confirms why it is so important.  Everything built or developed in our relationship with God depends upon faith in Him.  And in Romans 10.17—"the faith that saves" is generated through hearing and receiving the words of God about God and His purpose.  Faith can be generated from many things.  A false message or concept will even generate ideas, and we can believe these concepts, but only the faith generated from God’s Word matters in our relationship with Christ.

  There is no contradiction in what Paul is writing about in Ephesians 2.8.  In Romans 8.24 he is indicating that salvation is a continuous, ongoing process.  He is showing that the whole package does not happen all at once, but rather that through the whole process we continue in hope.  We are being saved in hope.  It is a necessary part of the process that is going on, and we need hope all the way through it—all the way to the end.  Likewise, in our marriages we need hope all the way to the end.  It is most important that we make wise choices, which will promote hope in dating and betrothal.  No team can win a basketball championship unless the players have the fundamentals right.  Likewise, no team can have a successful marriage unless they approach dating and betrothal right.  Stephen Covey wrote a 1994 best seller, First Things First which focuses on the need to do the first steps first, and to do them well.  How true this is during dating and betrothal.

Levels of Hope Change

  In our youth, our hopes usually center on toys of some sort.  Dolls or bicycles are the kind of things that children naturally hope for.  As we get older we still hope, but what we hope for gradually changes to things like an automobile, or clothing, or acceptance into some group that we admire.  We hope that a team we favor wins.  We hope to graduate from college, and then we hope to find good job.  We hope that we will meet the right person to marry and have a successful family life.

As we get older our experiences broaden through middle-age.  We mature in our thinking, and become concerned about the world situation.  We wonder why there is so much conflict, and we hope for peace.  We wonder why there are so many horrible diseases, and we hope our family is spared from them.  We wonder why there are so many natural disasters around the world, and we hope that these disasters pass over us.

  Finally as we get older, our own mortality affects us far more seriously than when we were young, and we begin to seriously wonder about God, hoping that we have a good relationship with Him, and that relationship becomes much more important.  We hope that this life is not all there is.  We hope to be in God’s kingdom.

  Hoping comes easily because all of our faculties, all of our senses—our sense of sight, our sense of taste, our sense of smell, our sense of hearing, and our sense of touch—are geared to set a value on many of things.  These senses cause us to hope for the things that we consider best to us.  We see beautiful Lake Louise in Canada, and we hope that we will see something beautiful again.  We smell a fragrance that maybe sets off a chain of references and raises nostalgic memories within us, like the fragrance of your wife’s perfume that is the fragrance she wore the day you proposed to her.  Or we hear a piece of music and it does the same thing, and we hope that we will experience that kind of pleasure and thrill once again.  We taste food, and we hope that we get to taste something that tastes so good again.  We touch something, or somebody touches us, and it gives us a sense that we hope that that kind of thing happens again.  This is the hope, the subject of this part of the study, which involves proper dating and betrothal in preparation for marriage for life.  This hope only has its roots in what God teaches about his procedure, his way of entering into that special relationship called marriage in preparation to enter his kingdom as the “Bride of Christ.”  Not surprisingly, there are principles and laws, which govern how people should date, become betrothed, and eventually enter a marriage covenant.

The Forlorn Hope

  But there is a very important issue in all of this hope, and that is, that the bottom line—the single most important factor on whether what we hope for is accomplished and becomes a reality in our life—is the substance (we’re touching on Hebrews 11.1 here), the ground, the assurance, the evidence, the proof that we will have what it is that we hope for.  Without solid evidence one has little or no reality for his hopes, and they are merely wishes and daydreams.

  Many hopes pass through our mind, and just as quickly as they form, they are put out, because we know that they are impossible.  You might hope that tomorrow you would wake up with a million dollars in your bank account, and your mind starts generating things like, "I could do this."  "I could buy such and such a house."  "I could have such and such a car."  "I could pay off all my debts."  "I could get beautiful clothing."  "I could, I could, I could…. "  But you know that it is all just a pipe dream.  It is not going to happen because there is absolutely no evidence whatsoever, no possibility that such a thing will occur.

  What is the result of such hoping?  The result is that we will take no steps to make our hopes and dreams happen.  In order for a hope to be accomplished, to become something that we actually possess, it must be accompanied by a conviction, a proof produced from a reality to even continue to hope and to motivate us to work toward accomplishing what it is that we hope for. 

  In the universities a process called Modernization and Revisionist thinking permeates the scholars in the area of History.  History is rewritten to give what is called a more accurate perspective and sanitized view of the past.  Likewise, there has been a process in the Churches of God emphasizing revisionist thinking and modernization.  Now this sounds great, but does it square with Gods Word, the way of life he shows his creation in the Bible?  A classic example in the misinformation, or revisionist thinking of history classes involves many small items of detail omitted from modern texts and classes.  History teachers no longer focus on some small, insignificant, or silly details.  I would ask again, do small things matter?  Likewise, modernization tends to water down the truth of God and make it applicable to social models of the period.

  In the annals of history concerning the Napoleonic Wars, history records a most peculiar classification of certain individuals.  When an army was breaching, making a hole in a wall around a town or fort, they would spend a lot of effort to make the hole.  Likewise, the enemy inside would aim all their defenses at this spot because they knew this was the spot the opposing army would seek to enter the fort and overwhelm them.  There was a brigade chosen in advance to rush through this hole first.  They were called The Forlorn Hope.  The catch was that practically none of these soldiers stood a chance of surviving because they would be met by all that the enemy could throw at them.  They were cannon fodder.  But ironically, there was great theoretical honor to this position, at least among the leaders.  The leaders did not enter the hole for the most part, they just sent the doomed brigade through that hole.

  Do small things matter?  Do you see the analogy?  The self-appointed leaders of the modern Churches of God could be sending their youth through a breach in doctrinal matters as cannon fodder.  The young people in the church entering a dating relationship have no hope.  They are The Forlorn Hope.  They have modernized dating and betrothal practices in the Churches of God to conform to the World’s system.  The youth in the church for the most part follow the way of the World in dating relationships.  They focus their youth on developing the self and making wise and adult choices.  What balderdash and bullfeathers!!  In the early days of the church Mr. Armstrong wrote The New Mortality.  He gave guidelines for the proper age of marriage and logical arguments but did not really touch on the importance of God’s Government in the initial stages of dating and betrothal based upon the solid evidence of God’s Word.  Basically, a lot of these early writings have been sidelined because of modernization of Church of God beliefs.

  As near as I can tell the divorce and remarriage statistics within the Churches of God fair no better than the statistics of the world.  Ministers at feast sites have touched on this paradox many times.  Naturally, the majority of the young people go about finding a mate just like the people of the world.

  There has to be proof for our hopes, or they are nothing but a wish, they are nothing but a dream, they are nothing but the product of our own imagination.  We are dealing here with a process that is very important to spiritual health and well-being and eternal life, because God’s Word tells us that faith is the substance, it is the ground, it is the assurance of things hoped for.  In the previous chapter we dealt with how that faith involves a total approach to how we worship God.  That way, that approach is the title-deed of things hoped for.  It is the evidence of things not seen.  It also tells us that the only faith that God will accept comes, proceeds, from His own word.  So faith—the conviction, the assurance that enables hopes that pertain to our relationship with God—must come from God’s word.  The instructions on the approach to dating and betrothal must come from God’s word, not empty philosophy and social norms of a decadent society.

  The only reason that we can have hope in a marriage relationship rests upon whether God has said anything about the things that we hope for.  Only a true conviction that comes from God’s Word is valid.  In the Churches of God, the only hope we have of approaching dating toward marriage correctly should involve whether our approach is based upon something taught in God’s Word.

  Any hope of eternal life, every shred of hope we have in our marriages, absolutely rests on the faithfulness of God in keeping His promises.  His word is always true, and that is where conviction should rise from.  Now if there is no God, or if He lies, or if He is careless in any way, then we have no foundation whatever for our hope and that kind of faith is absolutely baseless.  It is nothing more than wishful thinking and everything therefore depends on the fact that He has spoken, and whatever He says is true.  Otherwise all of us in the Churches of God are no better off than the first brigade to try and span a breach in enemy walls.  We are The Forlorn Hope.  Our children and their future mates and offspring will be just another generation of The Forlorn Hope. 

  If we have heard nothing on a particular subject from God, we have nothing to believe. There is no law for or against that subject.  His word is law. There is therefore no legitimate reason for anything except human faith or human emotion if nothing has been said concerning a particular topic in the Bible.  We can place no hope in what doesn’t exist, and all we are doing is exercising our imagination.  

Spiritual and Physical Maturity

  One of the essential principles Mr. Armstrong used to focus on was the concept of maturity.  Yes, maturity is essential when approaching baptism.  Maturity is essential to count the cost.  Even more so, maturity is essential in dating towards marriage.  The reason is that you as a young person in society, and especially within God’s Church have no right whatsoever to approach this topic in a selfish, immature way.  You are not an independent person.  God’s Family and his government, his true government, leaves little room for free thinkers when it comes to his statutes and judgements.

  Not surprisingly, we see the principle of denying self, crop out in sermons quite often.  A recent example would be Mr. Mario Hernandez in his message Planting and Harvesting (VTE153).  In this sermon he made the point and defined maturity, as that point where one has the capacity to put of short term desires to reach long term gains.  This of course is quite accurate.  Self-denial is a big doctrinal topic.  Take the teachings of Paul.  

Colossians 1:24 Who now rejoice in my sufferings for you [meaning the church there at Colosse] and fill up that which is behind of the afflictions of Christ in my flesh for his body’s sake, which is the church.  

Paul does not mean in any way that Christ’s sufferings are inadequate, nor does he mean that there is a predetermined amount of suffering that each person should go through.  He is simply saying, expressing that it is unavoidable if one is associated with Christ and living as a Christian, they will experience suffering.

  One of the things that can be extrapolated from this principle that Paul is talking about is that the church is continually built up by repeated acts of self-denial by its members, and that self-denial—those sacrifices—is going to be painful to human nature.  That is what he’s talking about here.

  We in the church are aliens within the culture around us, and aliens are usually persecuted.  So what we have are called-out saints traveling along the way that is leading to the Kingdom of God, and we are being prepared to become kings and priests.  We have been assured that along the way there is going to be suffering.  There are going to be sudden and unexpected twists and turns in our journey, and that we should be able to make sacrifices and use self-denial, even in dating and betrothal if needed.  God warns us to be sober.  To be sober means to be self-controlled, conducting our life with understanding.

  In addition, the requirements of just keeping on moving, of not letting attractive digressions distract us, pulling us off the way, will always be pressuring us.  There may be injury, sicknesses, unexpected death, and even loved-ones departing the way.  But we are assured that the hardships that produce the suffering will be within certain parameters, and they will not be greater than we can bear.  All of this must be done by faith.  

To illustrate further, lets go back to I Peter 2:4.  

I Peter 2:4 To whom coming, as unto a living stone, disallowed indeed of men, but chosen of God, and precious, 5 You also, as lively stones are built up a spiritual house.

  We are living stones in a spiritual house.  Metaphorically, when "stone" is applied to man—[This is in the Bible.]—it usually indicates stupidity, hardness of heart, or not being converted.  But when a person becomes converted, he becomes a living stone—one of many in a spiritual house, building, or temple—and he does not remain alone.  He must be built into the fabric of the church—the temple.  He becomes part of a community, and the church is a community of living beings held together by a common bond.  That bond is Christ.  The point is clear, that a stone by itself, lying out in a field, is pretty much useless.  It becomes useful only when it is integrated into the building—the temple.  By itself it accomplishes nothing, but joined with others—a structure capable of serving many purposes—is built.

  There is no such thing as an independent Christian.  Christianity, without the church, is an impossibility, because the church is Christ’s body, and no part of our body lives once it is no longer a part of the body.  The member dies.  And so the Christian is trained, and thus his trials are going to be pretty much set by his association with the church, and God’s calling for him to become a king and a priest.  Likewise his life, his approach to dating and betrothal will be governed by only God’s Truth.  We rise and fall with the spiritual state of this building and in untouched areas concerning dating and betrothal.  The statutes and judgements associated with this topic have been neglected too long.  It is no wonder the gift of miraculous healing is not present in the church today.  Self-denial has not taken place in the arenas of dating and betrothal.  The way of the world has been substituted and the old man, the self, has only been partially buried.  How much retention of the old-self does it take to keep Jesus outside our spiritual door, knocking.

Quit Pushing Me Around  

Yes, all of the youth in the church today have been pushed around all of their lives.  They cannot wait to make decisions on their own.  They are approaching a point where they need to take control of their lives and make their own mistakes.  This is what modern culture teaches and the psychiatrists who dominate the world and to some extent the Churches of God.  It sounds good, real good, and has and element of truth.  I will make the dogmatic statement right here that there are at least three levels of biblical truth to about any topic.  The Bible is a complete book, but the tares and wolves feed in a frenzy on the flock using cute twists of human reasoning concerning truth.  This categorization of truth will be covered later in this study.  It sounds real good to have someone emphasize in a sermon that your parents need to quit micromanaging you and let you make adult decisions.  It sounds real good and appeals to human nature to have another person tell you how they appreciate your opinions and that you need to make your own decisions.  Again, there is an element of truth to this, but a real small element.  Someone may be setting you up to partake of The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

  Young people see teachers pushing them everywhere and parents pushing them here and there.  They see police pushing them around.  They see ministers in the church pushing them around, not only them but their parents too.  The youth have lived their whole lives with others making decisions for them.  What they need to realize is that there is “nothing new under the sun.”  Their parents endured the same fate of being pushed around before them.

  During their wandering and preparation in The Wilderness, preparing to reach the point they could enter the Promised Land, the Children of Israel had many unexpected things happen and they reacted typically with human nature.  They too had been pushed around all their lives.  An example of this takes place just before they enter the Promised Land.  

Numbers 14:1-4 And all the congregation lifted up their voice, and cried; and the people wept that night. [It doesn’t sound like they were happy about this twist.] 2 And all the children of Israel murmured against Moses and against Aaron: and the whole congregation said unto them, Would God that we had died in the land of Egypt! Or would God we had died in this wilderness! 3 And wherefore has the LORD brought us unto this land to fall by the sword, that our wives and our children should be a prey? Were it not better for us to return into Egypt? 4 And they said one to another, Let us make a captain, and let us return into Egypt.

  They were experiencing a twist and turn that they didn’t like at all!  Is that the way you are if your parents forbid you to date someone?  You probably will not like it.  Your potential date may not like it, but will you just return to Egypt and follows the ways of the world.

Numbers 21:4 And they journeyed from mount Hor by the way of the Red sea, to compass the land of Edom: and the soul of the people was much discouraged because of the way.

  Do you ever get discouraged because of the way to the Kingdom of God?  Israel’s way was narrow and difficult.  Is that not what Jesus said, that the way to the Promised Land, to the Kingdom of God, is narrow, and it is difficult, and few there be that find it, that find the way to the end?

  Young people, your life is just as stressful, but in a different way and for a much different end than the Israelites’ life had been in Egypt.  Their life in Egypt was hard, and in Egypt they were going to death.  Now here they were, released into liberty.  They were free people, but they were finding that the way of liberty, the way of freedom, is difficult as well; just a little bit different though, and to a different purpose and end than it had been in Egypt.  When God made an unexpected turn of direction while leading them, it becomes apparent that He had more in mind than simply taking Israel into the Promised Land.

  Consider, how would people who had been slaves all of their lives might use the liberty that had been given to them?  The answer is that they would use it, with few adjustments, in the same way as they had been trained in Egypt.  You probably heard the cliché that "Israel went out of Egypt, but Egypt never left Israel."  They carried their experiences as slaves in Egypt everywhere because that is the only experiences they had to go on.  Likewise, what experiences do the youth in the church draw upon when approaching dating, betrothal, respect, and parental authority?  These are all questions that pertain to the hope within the youth of the church and their future hope.  It also pertains to the survival of the church.

  How much experience did the Israelites have in governing themselves God’s way?  As slaves, it is possible that someone else had structured their entire existence, and from the time that they got up in the morning until "lights out" at night, somebody else was telling them what to do, how to do it, and when to do what they finally chose to do.  As a young person in the church, does this seem familiar?  Now in Egypt they were hardly ever confronted with making truly meaningful decisions pertaining to their life.  A slave doesn’t get many choices.  In addition to that, and also very important, is that the spiritual, moral, and ethical instruction and decision-making experience that they did have in Egypt was from an anti-God system.  So are the dating and betrothal practices of the world today.  Not all of the practices within the church are from the world but a significant part are.

  Lets go now to Numbers 9:15 as we continue this saga.  We are going to read all the way through to verse 23 because I feel the whole thing is important to the foundation of this study.

Numbers 9:15-23 And on the day that the tabernacle was reared up the cloud covered the tabernacle, namely, the tent of the testimony: and at even there was upon the tabernacle as it were the appearance of fire, until the morning. 16 So it was always: the cloud covered it by day, and the appearance of fire by night. 17 And when the cloud was taken up from the tabernacle, then after that the children of Israel journeyed: and in the place where the cloud abode, there the children of Israel pitched their tents. 18 At the commandment of the LORD the children of Israel journeyed, and at the commandment of the LORD they pitched: as long as the cloud abode upon the tabernacle they rested in their tents. 19 And when the cloud tarried long upon the tabernacle many days, then the children of Israel kept the charge of the LORD, and journeyed not. 20 And so it was, when the cloud was a few days upon the tabernacle; according to the commandment of the LORD they abode in their tents, and according to the commandment of the LORD they journeyed. 21 And so it was, when the cloud abode from even unto the morning, and that the cloud was taken up in the morning, then they journeyed: whether it was by day or by night that the cloud was taken up, they journeyed. 22 Or whether it were two days, or a month, or a year, that the cloud tarried upon the tabernacle, remaining thereon, the children of Israel abode in their tents, and journeyed not: but when it was taken up, they journeyed. 23 At the commandment of the LORD they rested in the tents, and at the commandment of the LORD they journeyed: they kept the charge of the LORD, at the commandment of the LORD by the hand of Moses.

  Do we see God in our lives with the clarity that at least Moses and maybe some of the Israelites saw God in their lives?  Our lives, once converted, are totally tied to where God is leading.  Do we understand that?  That is what this paragraph is showing those who are converted.  Does it not seem like parents, teachers and others put young people through exactly the same experiences that God put the Israelites through while wandering in the Wilderness?

  The Bizarre Nature of the Tares

  The liberty of those in the church is to live by every world of God.  Their liberty is to learn all of his laws.  The bizarre nature of the tares in God’s Church and what they will teach concerning dating and picking a mate can be demonstrated in a unique analysis of one Old Testament story.  It concerns the topic of inheritance.  Yes, inheritance is a part of the topic of dating and betrothal.  The Israelites were approaching the Promised Land.  After all these years they were almost there.  The previous generation had died in the wilderness and everyone was wondering who would get what land once they crossed the Jordan River.  This is a natural concern but they were not putting First Things First.  They had not even crossed the Jordan River yet.

  The story concerns Zelophehad’s Daughters.  The tares will point to this as proof that women may marry whom they want.  They will wave the following scripture as proof that women can make the adult decision to pick their mates and date whomever they want.  But does this scripture really say that?  Young Women, be careful, the entire truth of any matter is usually scattered around the Bible in several places.  If this is the only scripture you can produce to justify your desire to pick whom and when you date, you are in a lot of trouble.  In your zeal to gain liberty, you have bought “The Lie.”  This idea may appeal to your human nature but it is hardly scriptural.  Let’s examine all of the scriptures affecting this topic in a prayerful attitude.  

People using this argument to prove their point focus on V6, notice.  

Numbers 36:6 This is the thing which the LORD doth command concerning the daughters of Zelophehad, saying, Let them marry to whom they think best; only to the family of the tribe of their father shall they marry.

  Yes, this verse appears to say that women may marry or pick whom they choose to marry, and by implication extend the privilege to dating but the verse is taken out of context.  This is a common practice of those wishing to find a scriptural excuse to make the exception and follow their human reasoning.  Let’s read the entire account.  Following the plague which was brought about by the Israelites determining who they should date when they tried to date and intermarry with gentiles inhabiting the ancient land of Moab (See Numbers 35), a new census was taken of the tribes.  In Numbers 26:33 the daughters of Zelophehad are mentioned as being the sole survivors in their family.  Shortly after this census, inheritance became the hot topic in the tribes’ minds.  Consequently, the daughters of Zelophehad approached Moses concerning their Father’s inheritance.  

 Notice:  

Numbers 27: 1-11 Then came the daughters of Zelophehad, the son of Hepher, the son of Gilead, the son of Machir, the son of Manasseh, of the families of Manasseh the son of Joseph: and these are the names of his daughters; Mahlah, Noah, and Hoglah, and Milcah, and Tirzah. 2 And they stood before Moses, and before Eleazar the priest, and before the princes and all the congregation, by the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, saying, 3 Our father died in the wilderness, and he was not in the company of them that gathered themselves together against the LORD in the company of Korah; but died in his own sin, and had no sons. 4 Why should the name of our father be done away from among his family, because he hath no son? Give unto us therefore a possession among the brethren of our father. 5 And Moses brought their cause before the LORD. 6 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, 7 The daughters of Zelophehad speak right: thou shalt surely give them a possession of an inheritance among their father's brethren; and thou shalt cause the inheritance of their father to pass unto them. 8 And thou shalt speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a man die, and have no son, then ye shall cause his inheritance to pass unto his daughter. 9 And if he have no daughter, then ye shall give his inheritance unto his brethren. 10 And if he have no brethren, then ye shall give his inheritance unto his father's brethren. 11 And if his father have no brethren, then ye shall give his inheritance unto his kinsman that is next to him of his family, and he shall possess it: and it shall be unto the children of Israel a statute of judgment, as the LORD commanded Moses.

  These young ladies knew their rights as they had been brought up in a very structured system.  Notice that they could approach Moses and all of the princes.  They did not have to be bullied into submission.  They won their case.  The inheritance passed on to them.  It must be noted here that the inheritance was to be passed on.  It was as good as theirs, since God had promised it, but the Israelites had not yet crossed the Jordan.  Many of these principles concerning inheritance and (NOTE) GUARDIANSHIP are embodied in civil statutes in our country today.  Notice that the instructions are very specific. 

  Shortly after a problem arose.  Someone came to their senses and realized it was possible for these ladies to marry outside of their tribe.  So, another meeting had to be called.  The account is in Numbers 36: 1-13.  Lets read it.  

Numbers 36:1- 13 And the chief fathers of the families of the children of Gilead, the son of Machir, the son of Manasseh, of the families of the sons of Joseph, came near, and spake before Moses, and before the princes, the chief fathers of the children of Israel: 2 And they said, The LORD commanded my lord to give the land for an inheritance by lot to the children of Israel: and my lord was commanded by the LORD to give the inheritance of Zelophehad our brother unto his daughters. 3 And if they be married to any of the sons of the other tribes of the children of Israel, then shall their inheritance be taken from the inheritance of our fathers, and shall be put to the inheritance of the tribe whereunto they are received: so shall it be taken from the lot of our inheritance. 4 And when the jubile of the children of Israel shall be, then shall their inheritance be put unto the inheritance of the tribe whereunto they are received: so shall their inheritance be taken away from the inheritance of the tribe of our fathers. 5 And Moses commanded the children of Israel according to the word of the LORD, saying, The tribe of the sons of Joseph hath said well. 6 This is the thing which the LORD doth command concerning the daughters of Zelophehad, saying, Let them marry to whom they think best; only to the family of the tribe of their father shall they marry. 7 So shall not the inheritance of the children of Israel remove from tribe to tribe: for every one of the children of Israel shall keep himself to the inheritance of the tribe of his fathers. 8 And every daughter, that possesseth an inheritance in any tribe of the children of Israel, shall be wife unto one of the family of the tribe of her father, that the children of Israel may enjoy every man the inheritance of his fathers. 9 Neither shall the inheritance remove from one tribe to another tribe; but every one of the tribes of the children of Israel shall keep himself to his own inheritance. 10 Even as the LORD commanded Moses, so did the daughters of Zelophehad: 11 For Mahlah, Tirzah, and Hoglah, and Milcah, and Noah, the daughters of Zelophehad, were married unto their fathers brothers' sons: 12 And they were married into the families of the sons of Manasseh the son of Joseph, and their inheritance remained in the tribe of the family of their father. 13 These are the commandments and the judgments, which the LORD commanded by the hand of Moses unto the children of Israel in the plains of  Moab by Jordan near Jericho.

  Now we have the whole story.  The topic of these scriptures is not how to approach betrothal and marriage.  The topic is how to handle an inheritance.  Notice that these instructions are called commandments and judgements.  Not all of God’s commandments are expressed in the Ten Commandments.  There is no room to interpret these scriptures as something to justify women doing what is right in their own eyes concerning dating, betrothal, and marriage.

  The Plain Truth of the matter is that young ladies do not have the privilege of determining whom they may date, become betrothed too, and marry under God’s laws.  Notice the role of uncles and other close kinsmen as they relate to an inheritance.  These young ladies had other uncles and kinsmen to handle the betrothal arrangements (Guardianship if you will).  There is no evidence these young ladies ever did anything outside the parameters of the statutes and judgements of their nation.  They did not sell their inheritance for a “bowl of cold soup.”

  Young people in the Churches of God need to careful, they need to focus on the Tuth of God.  As it says in:  

Deut. 8:1-4 "Every commandment which I command you today you must be careful to observe, that you may live and multiply, and go in and possess the land of which the LORD swore to your fathers. 2And you shall remember that the LORD your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. 3So He humbled you, allowed you to hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the LORD. 4Your garments did not wear out on you, nor did your foot swell these forty years.

  Young people need to know the whole truth about the protocol of dating and betrothal, otherwise they will follow a path that will make their lives a Forlorn Hope.  The consequences of their actions will reach out and effect many lives for a long time.  This is why God desires parents to be involved in the decision making, regarding dating, betrothal, and marriage.  This is why the Physical Family is to have God’s governmental structure, and be the instrument of a God Plane Family.  It is so real hope can be added to the faith needed by young people as they mature to a happy marriage.  Hope is the Great Motivator, the energizing force behind the way we approach God’s instructions.  Faith and hope work together to make a successful marriage.